Ender’s Games

I am sure that we’ve all heard of this game by now, even if you aren’t a gamer. It’sbeen all over the news, mostly because it is highly anticipated and a huge seller. The previous iterations have made headlines because of gratuitous violence, language, and interaction with hookers. Additionally, the series has been blamed for a number of real life criminal activities, as the media often cites this game as inspiration for the crimes committed. Ludicrous, by the way. You heard me right, Jack Thompson.

Being a somewhat big fan of the series in the past, and after hearing all the hype that built around this game, I bought it and the strategy guide at release. I’ll admit, I had high expectations, as did the rest of this world. Every review that came out for the game touted it as amazing, and it earned a number of perfect review scores. So, I sat down and gave it a spin. Here are Ender’s impressions of GTAIV.

In a word, “Really?”. I honestly don’t get what the big deal is. I’m disappointed, frankly, and confused. It feels like every other Grand Theft Auto game I’ve ever played, except with more polish. The gameplay is the same, the missions are the same, and dadgummit, I am a little pissed. Here are my gripes:

1. It’s the same game as before! Throwing in a new main character doesn’t make it a brand new game in my eyes, and it all feels like more of the same. I understand “if it ain’t broke”, but geez, with the jump to next-gen consoles and untouchable review scores, I expected more.
2. The driving mechanic is some of the worst I’ve ever played. It takes almost nothing to spin out, and in certain cars, the handling is almost impossible. My advice to you that would try this game: grab a motorcycle. It’s way easier.
3. The game is so dark and poorly-lit, there are times I can’t see what is going on at all. Especially indoors and beneath train tracks. No, it isn’t my television.
4. Bump a cop car on the road, I dare you. They’ll immediately blue-light you. And given the crappy driving system, it will happen a lot.
5. The swearing is out of control. Now, you may say “You should expect that coming in to a GTA game”, and you are right. I did expect swearing, just not every other word. Even random pedestrians on the street drop the f-bomb if you bump into them. It’s gratuitous and unnecessary.
6. Hand-to-hand combat sucks. Hard.

There are some good points to the game, like the addition of a GPS system, the cellphone, and multiplayer. But I don’t get the fuss over the multiplayer, either. It’s nothing special in my book.

Don’t get me wrong; the game is not a bad game. It’s certainly well-made, and the polish is evident. But I guess, on a personal level, I am disappointed and frustrated, as I feel that I’ve played this game before. Three times actually, on my Playstation 2. I suppose the problem is likely my own perception, but as I am frequently reminded at my job, “perception is reality”.